“Human life is not a struggle in which rivals contend for prizes. It is a voyage that brothers make together: where each employs his forces for the good of all and is rewarded by the sweetness of mutual benevolence, by the pleasure that comes with the sentiment of having earned the gratitude or the esteem of others…
Marie Jean Antoine Nicolas de Caritat Condorcet, On the Nature and Purpose of Public Instruction (1791)
And speaking of BROTHERS
Writing before the public should have a purpose. It could be just to entertain or to inform. Much of what I’ve been writing over the last several weeks and probably over the next several days promotes the work of our team putting on honor at the chain theater. But today – – the convergence of Mardi Gras, the Year of the Dragon, and Valentine’s Day Eve – – prompts me to write with a different purpose: to entreat all of us to share our gratitude for those who made us as much of what we are. Having practiced this expression of open gratitude previously, I can attest that it is an excellent exercise: remembering that anything we have achieved is due to the care and encouragement of so many others puts a good leash on enthusiastic egos and persuading our younger friends and relatives of the importance of such homage is good for our society. None of us should fall for the myth of the self-made person. Too much individualism unravels the cords of society and unstrung our communities and families fall apart. And so I want to write with the purpose of extolling my brother John.
Yes, this post is yet another thank-you to my brother, John C. Elliott (he never forgave my mother for the Cornelius), the eldest of the five Elliott boys, whose 80th birthday we would have celebrated with him today had John not died far too soon in October of 2022.
Older brothers can give you courage that no one else can impart. Knowing your kinship, their approval, even their criticism, can make you believe more strongly in yourself. When someone as wise and impressive as John takes the time to guide you the steering avoids dangers and dead ends. But John did even more than that. When it came to my once and future profession of playwrighting and directing, John bankrolled our first Off Broadway show in New York, Captive Audiences, and then even after death provided resources that allowed the full mounting of our last play, The Jester’s Wife.
He was much more than my brother. He was a soldier and a philanthropist. Most importantly, he was a fine father and grandfather as well as an innovator in business and finance.
I offer my celebration of someone dear who helped to make me whatever I am today in the hope that others will provide their own testimonials. We can learn but more fundamentally we will remember that we should be that helper for others, that encourager and enabler of what it takes to build a life. In doing so, we follow the very good advice contained in one of my go-to quotes:
Silent gratitude is not much use to anyone who had done a lot for you.
Gladys Bronwyn Stern, from He Wrote Treasure Island: The Story of Robert Louis Stevenson
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